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The Restaurant Song
The Restaurant Song is a parody on American Pie by Don McLean. Lyrics A long, long time ago... I was stuck there in New York I had nothing to eat there Chinese makes me want to barf And McDonalds is full of carbs And, maybe, I'll find the pie. But Burger King made me shiver With every burger they delivered. Bad news on the doorstep; I couldn’t take one more bite. I can’t remember if I cried When I ate the Surinam pie, But something touched me deep inside The day I ate at Fry's. Pie, Rye, and a bunch of French fries. With Potatoes and tomatoes, All for nine ninety nine. And I when I was at New York I ate at Fry's It made me want to die It made me want to die Did you write the book of food, And do you have faith in raters too, If the web tells you so? Do you like the rocky road, Can food save your mortal soul, And can you teach me how to eat real slow? Well, I know that I'm not so slim `cause you saw me muchin’ in the gym. You both kicked off your shoes. Man, I hate the restaurants I choose. I was a lonely person in New York stuck In a unknown location and a pickup truck, But I knew Iwas out of luck The day I ate at Fry's. I was orderin', Pie, Rye, and a bunch of French fries. With Potatoes and tomatoes, All for nine ninety nine. And I when I was at New York I ate at Fry's It made me want to die It made me want to die Now for ten years we’ve been eating on our own And choosing food from the only known, But that’s not how it used to be. When the waiter suggested for the tasty meal, The steak is good and so is the veal And a voice that came from you and me, Oh, and while the waiter was looking down, The guest there stole his wallet now. The manager was stormed; No money was returned. And while my friend started to barf, I quickly ran away to the park, And we ate pancakes in the dark The day I ate at Fry's. I was orderin', Pie, Rye, and a bunch of French fries. With Potatoes and tomatoes, All for nine ninety nine. And I when I was at New York I ate at Fry's It made me want to die It made me want to die Quick everyone hide in this shelter. The birds flew off before they tasted her, Two inches high and tasted like glass. It landed foul on the grass. The players tried to pass, With my friend on the sidelines in cast. Now the bakery air was sweet perfume While the bakers licked the spoons. We all got up to try, Oh, but it made me want to die! `cause the bakers made it with no oranges peeled; Everyone refused to yield. Do you recall what was released The day I ate at Fry's? I was orderin', Pie, Rye, and a bunch of French fries. With Potatoes and tomatoes, All for nine ninety nine. And I when I was at New York I ate at Fry's It made me want to die It made me want to die Oh, and there we were all in one place, A restaurant lost in space With no time left to start again. So come on: don't be nimble, or you'll be sick! My friend ate and he became sick 'Cause bad food is the devil’s only friend. Oh, and as I watched him on the stage My hands were clenched in fists of rage. No food with the best smell Could change that it tasted like hell. And as the stench climbed high into the night To revive the vomitical rite, I saw satan laughing with delight The day I ate at Fry's I was orderin', Pie, Rye, and a bunch of French fries. With Potatoes and tomatoes, All for nine ninety nine. And I when I was at New York I ate at Fry's It made me want to die It made me want to die I met a girl who ate the soup And I asked her "Was it good?, But she just barfed and turned away. I went down to the food store Where I’d try the cheese years before, But the man there said the cheese wasn't okay. And in the streets: the children screamed, The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed. But not a word was spoken; The church bells all were broken. And the three men I admire most: The waiter, chef, and the yummy toast, They caught the last train for the coast The day I ate at Fry's. I was orderin', Pie, Rye, and a bunch of French fries. With Potatoes and tomatoes, All for nine ninety nine. And I when I was at New York I ate at Fry's It made me want to die It made me want to die They were orderin', Pie, Rye, and a bunch of French fries. With Potatoes and tomatoes, All for nine ninety nine. And I when I was at New York I ate at Fry's It made me want to die It made me want to die Category:Songs Category:Parodies